What do you want? - The Notebook (2004)

Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?  (imdb.com)




It's tough knowing what you want. Decisions are the downfall of many, myself included. Faced with two options, no matter how similar or different, we all often hesitate, unsure of which to choose.


In The Notebook (2004), Allie has to make a choice between two wonderful men. Hers is seemingly a choice of love; however, there is more to the story. Her choice is one of lifestyle, of location, even perhaps of comfort.  We don't know who she's going to choose, as both look like viable options. Will she even choose anyone? Despite a minor freakout, she chooses Noah because we knew all along that he was who she belonged with.


I've gone back to the scene many times when I was trying to make a decision on my own. It's hard not to be influenced by everyone else's wants and needs.  We've all been in Allie's shoes: there's been times where we've had to figure out what we wanted instead of basing our choices on other people.  


For me, I remembered this scene when I was trying to make a college choice. What did I want? Where did I want to spend the next four years of my life? It was the first time that I was able to make a big decision all by myself. So I weighed the evidence, made pros and cons lists, did all of my research, and, of course, asked my parents and friends their opinions. I'd like to think that I made the decision all by myself, and for the most part I did, but it was really difficult to pull myself away from everyone else's opinions and decide for myself.


We all have people that we look to for advice and guidance and I think that sometimes we let their judgments sneak into our own opinions.


Come on, we all know that person who bases their opinion off of everyone else's. Their opinion constantly changes depending on who they're with. Maybe it's a mechanism to keep neutral, but I think that I'd rather butt heads with a passionately free-thinking person than someone who's just trying to please me with their opinions.


So how do we pull ourselves away from the world and make our own uninfluenced decisions? If only I knew. It's a constant struggle to be an original thinker in this world, as well as being completely uninfluenced by those around us.  


Despite these difficulties, we should try really hard to always evaluate each situation on our own terms.  Stop worrying about everyone else around you and really think hard about what you want because you are the most important person you should be accountable to; you have to live with the decision, so you might as well be happy.